Oh, hello there snow.

There is a blizzard going on right now.
If you know me at all, I tend to exaggerate quite a bit. I have frequently said, "It's like a blizzard out there!" over the past few weeks.
But I'm NOT exaggerating this time!
It's an ACTUAL blizzard! The news even said so.
The snow is really powdery, and not at all good for making snowballs.
Not that anyone would want to, what with the wind and such.
It's so deep in the backyard that the bird bath has been covered.
We're going to be stuck in the house for a few days.
Hope there is enough food.
:\
-----------
Madelyn is THE cutest baby in the world.
I held her for a while-she pretty much just slept.
But for a little bit she did open her eyes and she just stared at me.
My heart melted.

Dear Hormones,

I do NOT need a baby. My mind knows this. Please stop telling my body that I do.

Thanks in advance,
Brittany.

---------------------

Today, I was watching Love Actually with my father (no, I never get tired of it).
During the wedding scene, my father said, "Gross. Interracial couples are gross."
WHAT?!?
So I asked, "So, what if I wanted to marry a black man?"
To which he replied, "Don't. And don't you do it now just to spite me!"
So, if I ever DID want to date a black person, he'd think it was just to spite him.
I'm sorry, but that just makes me sick.
His girlfriend is from The Philippines! Her native language isn't even English!
Hypocritical, much?

Dear father,

I want to punch you in the face.

Love,
Brittany.

In which Brittany has cabin fever

I need to get out of this house.
My father works from 2pm to 2am.
Twelve hours in which I am stuck alone in this house.
Tina has been working and such, so she hasn't been over as much as I'd like.
I could walk to Border's, but father forbids me because of the weather.
I actually don't blame him, because it is really icy. I walked to the little store on the corner, and almost fell about ten times, and Border's is up a steep hill. I'd never make it.
I have no books to read; I already re-read The Invisible Man.
Of course, I'm having writer's block.
Found all the secret things in the Order of the Phoenix game.
Left my webcam at mother's, so I can't make my anerdierfight video tomorrow.
Also, there is no food in this house.
Obviously there is some, but not much.
When I went to the little store, all I bought was junk food:
Necco Wafers (I am addicted to them)
Junior Mints
Cheesy crackers
Sunflower seeds
Cheetos
----------------
Taught myself to play Hedwig's Theme on the guitar.
Watched all the good On Demand movies. Even some bad ones.
There is never anything on TV.
Actually, Doctor Who is on all the time. Too bad my father doesn't get BBC! FSJLDFkjsaf;skh
I want to go for a walk. Right now.
It's 11:13pm, so I can't.
My father doesn't live in the best neighborhood.
Someone was shot a few streets down recently.
Also, his mailbox is tagged regularly. Hah.
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I am making a list of movies I don't own, but should.
I will cross of movies as they are added to my collection, and add others as needed.
Foreign languages are specified. Not sure if those would work on my ipod, if the subtitles aren't default.

-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
-Wristcutters: A Love Story.
-Garden State.
-Charlie Bartlett.
Thumbelina (we had this on VHS somewhere, but I can't find it/want it on dvd so I can put it on my ipod).
-Cheats (same as above).
-Love Actually
-Mean Girls
-The first four Harry Potter movies (Haley has lost and/or scratched ALL of them, except the fifth. I hide it when I'm not watching it).
-The Labyrinth.
-Fame
-Mamma Mia
-Little Shop of Horrors (the musical one).
-Recycle (Asian)
-Good Bye Lenin (German)
-Love Me if You Dare (French)
-Amelie (French)
-Pan's Labyrinth (Spanish)
-Bedazzled (original, not the one with Brendan Fraiser)
-The Great Mouse Detective
-Finding Neverland
-All the Star Wars movies.
-Weird Science
-The Breakfast Club
-Sixteen Candles
-Cry Baby
-Edward Scissorhands
-Hard Candy
-Tremors
-A Nightmare on Elm Street
-The Little Mermaid
-Peter Pan (the remake from a few years ago. GOODNESS, I love that version)
-About a Boy
-Enchanted
-Hairspray (musical version. Saw it eight times in theater)
-The Graduate

And television series I would like to buy:
-The Office
-Pushing Daisies
-Grey's Anatomy
-Doctor Who (the *new* series. Maybe not series 1 at first, because I like David Tennant as The Doctor. Although, I like Rose way more than Martha. Hmm.)
-Greek
-30 Rock
-Friends


Dear Adam,
I will tell Sydney you won't think she's creepy.
And THANK you for the name website!
My ipod is now called Ernst the Nerdfighting Ipod.

DISCLAIMER:
Brittany wrote the following at four in the morning. She apologizes for any and all of the awkward and/or insensible things you are about to read.
This post is long and weird. Feel free to skip it.
In fact, I suggest you skip it. Thank you in advance. Come back later, when she has written something that makes sense.


I have to go to the dentist at 9:30.
I should probably go to sleep, seeing as that's in six hours.
......................
Today, I beat the Order of the Phoenix game on the wii. YAY ME!
Now I can just run around Hogwarts and find all the secret things.
My father is currently playing gobstones. He's been at it for an hour or so. It's amusing.
......................
Flora came over while father was at work today.
It was slightly awkward for a while.
She gave me a necklace. I like it.
We painted pine cones together.
I still can't understand half the things she says. I feel bad, asking her to repeat herself, so most of the time I just nod and smile.
She told me about how she moved to America when she was young, and she had to learn English all by herself. I admire that.
She needs to move in, already! Ughhghgh.
....................
Signed up to get a holiday CHEER card from Maureen Johnson.
:]
.....................
I am afraid of the dentist.
Seriously.
Every time I think about it, my heart starts beating really fast. :\
Dentists are scary people. I don't want some guy poking around in my mouth. They always say, "oh, this won't hurt." but they lie EVERY time. It ALWAYS hurts.
It probably doesn't help that I wrote a story about an evil dentist once.
Although I know this guy.
My mom started working with him right after he got out of dental school.
....................
Sydney and I were on the phone a while back, both on facebook.

Sydney: Who is that Adam J.M. Eagleton guy?
Me: You know, my pen pal.
Sydney: I want to add him. Would he think I was creepy?
Me: Um, I doubt it. Ethan added him. He won't think you're creepy.
Sydney: I just want to see if he's attractive.
Me: That's pretty much his only picture.
Her: Oh. Well. Never mind, then.
oh, how I laughed.

That's how our conversations go.
"I met a boy today."
"Is he attractive?"
At which point we get on myspace/facebook and look them up.
I just love hanging out with her and gossiping.
It's so nice to be able to talk about trivial things, like who so and so is dating, and oh my goodness did you hear Jimmy broke up with Ashley?
....................
Father gave me my Christmas present early.
It's a new ipod. :]
I named him Charlie the Nerdfighting Ipod.
Although I may change the Charlie bit, as I just realized that's what Allie named her new laptop.
Any suggestions?
.....................

Father keeps saying "just one more game, then I'm going to bed!" but he's said it about seven times already.
.......................

The top five words I use on twitter are: going, want, oh, love, and time.
Interesting.

Wyatt is following me on twitter.
Not sure how I feel about that.
I usually try to avoid people I know IRL (besides Amanda, she's alright, as I don't see her ever) on twitter, because I sometimes say awkward things.
Twitter is like the place I can say things I'm thinking, y'know?

.........................
Have been thinking about the vegetarianism thing for the past few days.
I could do it, no problem.
The thing is, I don't think I'd be very healthy.
My mother and stepfather are big meat eaters. We raise our own cattle to butcher. It is extremely difficult to find food in my house that doesn't have some sort of meat in it.
Okay, whatever. Their eating habits shouldn't affect mine.
But, my mother would be completely unwilling to buy me any sort of food that is different from what they are eating.
So I'd be eating grilled cheese and cereal forever.
Not so healthy.
I don't know.
........................
It is four in the morning.
I have to be up in four hours.
I'm going to sleep.
Sorry for the long and disjointed post.
...............
EDIT:
Also, I got a C in reading. *happy dances*
Normally, I wouldn't be so proud of a C, but I honestly thought I was going to fail that class.
I hated it.
It wasn't anything like I expected it to be, and it was graded way too heavily on attendance, and I missed quite a bit.
It's a good thing I kicked ass on the midterm and did all that extra credit.
:]
SLEEEEEEEEP.
.................
Fuck it. I lied. It's 4:16, and I'm still awake. Father is still playing gobstones.

So Greg keeps calling me and asking if I'm going to church and/or youth group.

I haven't been to youth group in almost TWO YEARS.
I went to church a few months back, and only because Sydney had to, and I am such. A. Good. Friend. (Mean Girls quote, anyone?)
I really don't like church anymore.
That's cool if other people want to go, but I feel extremely hypocritical when I'm singing those songs that are like "God, I do everything for you!" because, well, I don't.
I'm not exactly sure what I believe right now, but I can't sing those songs when I don't mean it. It's disrespectful to the church.
I also can't listen to my pastor tell me not to watch TV shows with bad things in them.
I'm sorry, Les, but I watch Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. One of my favorite movies is about suicide.
I also curse like a sailor. Fuck. Ben Folds' Bitches Ain't Shit is one of my favorite songs. They wouldn't like that.
I was talking to Cassie, telling her about a book I was reading, and she said, "The only book I read is The Bible."
SERIOUSLY? I would shoot myself.
It's really creepy when the old ladies start speaking in tongues. ugh.
I keep lying to Greg, telling him I'm busy.
I know if I told him the truth, he'd have the whole church out in front of my house with candles or some weird shit like that.
.........................

Christmas! I love it!

When I woke up today (at noon- I am so lazy) the outside looked like this:


Beautiful.
My father and I braved the storm (hah) to go get our Christmas tree.
We found the perfect one.

His name is Arnold, and he is going to have ONLY Star Trek ornaments, because that's how we roll.
:]
[sorry for the huge images; I don't know how to resize them.]

I'd really like to give vegetarianism a try.
The problem is, my mother and stepfather would not support me at all.
My mother would think it's just some phase I'm going through.
I don't remember the last time we had a meat-free meal at my house.
Sushi is my favorite food...but I'm willing to give it up.
I really think I could do it, if my family would help out.
I can't live on grilled cheese and peanut butter & jelly forever.
Ugh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

My writing grade has been posted.
alsfk;dfjsdk I got a B.
:]
The grades for reading and math haven't been posted yet.
I'm rather nervous about those ones.

Dear Flora,

If you hurt my father, I will punch you in the face.
He is such a good guy.
Move your lazy ass into his house already.
He will wait forever, but he shouldn't have to.
Not cool.
Stop being a skank.

No love for you. In fact, with lots of hate,

Brittany.

Blogging from the father's house.

Well, here I am.
At my father's. He has painted the walls purple. I like it.
I really wish I could visit him more often.
I enjoy spending time with my father much more than I do with my mother.
He's actually fun, and not afraid to goof around.
You'd never catch my mother playing the Wii (which, by the way, told me I was 38 today).
I love my father.
:]

Dear Brittany,

Your sentences are all fragments.
Blame it on the fact that it's 1AM.

?

--I base my information on that subject entirely on that short at the beginning of A Bug's Life, where that old man is playing with himself--

I re read that, and realized how dirty it sounds.
Dear Brittany,
get your mind out of the gutter.

Another second post. Damn.

I just watched a True Life marathon for four hours.
They were on prom, adderall (am I spelling that right?), peer pressure, and people finding their parents, respectively.
My brain hurts.
I forget what state the one on prom was in, but their prom was $65 a ticket! Holy crap!
Ours was like twenty something, maybe.
They made such a big deal about a stupid dance.
I didn't even like prom that much. Maybe because my boyfriend went with a different girl. I don't know.
..................................................................
So excited to hang out with Tina tomorrow. I still need to pack for that. hmm.
And I get to meet Madelyn! Maybe that's why I want a baby so much; everyone is having them (okay, just Bryan's sister and Tami, but it seems like a lot) lately.
Can I just fast forward to age twenty five?
That's a respectable age to have a baby. I sure as hell don't want one now.

.

I am going to my father's house tomorrow.
Tina is picking me up in the morning. Yay!
Am getting used (use? I really should figure out which one it is.) to the black hair. Although it is slightly alarming to walk into the bathroom and see my reflection. BAM! BLACK HAIR!
Also, it makes me look pasty.
They say that in the winter, you aren't supposed to go more than two shades lighter or darker than your natural hair color.
Black is definitely way more than two shades darker, seeing as my hair is supposed to be blonde.
Maybe I should dye it back to blonde when I get bored with the black. Hmm.
Enough about my hair.
.............................................................................

I may attempt to get my driver's license in the next few weeks.
I am scared beyond all reason.
I hate driving. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.
That being said, I feel more comfortable when I am in control, rather than being the passenger.
It still makes me nervous, though.
..............................................................................

I received Adam's letter yesterday. I always get really excited when I get mail. It's the best. :]
Am about halfway through reading The Invisible Man.
It's excellent!
...............................................................................

Oh, how lovely. My Aunt Denise has added me as a friend on facebook.
Now she's going to go read my notes, and tell my mother that I'm a horrible child.
She's coming up for Christmas.
Don't get me wrong- I love Aunt Denise. She's just so...religious. I also don't have a problem with religious people, just ones who judge me.
Whenever she comes up, I purposely wear my Harry Potter shirts and carry the books around with me. Baha. It's rather amusing.
...............................................................................

In other news, the Nerdfighter novel project is in full swing!
I'm still afraid my chapter is not going to live up to everyone's expectations.
I don't think I'm very good at writing, which is a problem, as I want to be a writer.
Damn.
..............................................................................

Peter Clementine is in his mid-twenties. I pick twenty-four. That is how I imagine him.
Peter needs glasses, although he loses them all too often.
He is very lanky and awkward, I think- he has problems with small cars and short chairs.
His wardrobe consists of mostly grays and blacks and whites. Neutral colors; Peter doesn't want to draw attention to himself.
Peter loves to play chess. He could spend hours down at the park, playing chess with the old people (I don't actually know if there are old people at the park to play chess with; I base my information on that subject entirely on that short at the beginning of A Bug's Life, where that old man is playing with himself).
Television is not Peter's thing. He owns a television (who doesn't?) but he rarely watches it. He would much rather read a book.
Peter is actually quite a nice fellow to talk to, if you'd just give him the chance.
But he is rather shy, so he'd never be the one to initiate conversation.
His favorite color is puce (Okay, that was a joke. Puce is a horrible color, and nobody should ever choose it as their favorite).
How about maroon? Peter seems like a maroon person.
He also sounds like he would be a runner.

Second post today!

I've just finished watching Love Actually.

God, I love that movie.
Also, I'd like someone to do this for me:




It would make my heart melt.


I know I'm only seventeen, but God do I want to get married and have a baby.
I used to be so anti-baby, but I have to face it: babies are cute as hell, and I'm a girl.
I can wait.

Hmm.

I dyed my hair today.
It's black.
Definitely NOT the color I was aiming for.
Not sure if I like it yet.
I think it makes my eyes stick out more, which is nice. I like my eyes.


What do you think? Yay or nay?
It will probably grow on me.
........................................................
Spent the night at Sydney's house last night.
It was nice; Bryan came over and we watched Garden State.
I love that movie.
Nobody got the quote from it that I put in my movie quote tag game. :[
........................................................

I am officially done with this term. Now I just have to wait for grades to be posted. I'm nervous as hell.
I tried to get into the creative writing: fiction class for next term, but of course it's offered at the Lebanon center, and I don't drive, and the bus won't get there in time. Fuck.
So I'm in the poetry class instead.
Am also in some kind of English class. I forget the title and don't feel like getting up.
Decided to take concert choir as well!
I thought about auditioning for chamber choir, but the classes are Tuesday and Thursday. I'm only taking Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes next term. It's going to be nice.
........................................................

I'm actually really excited for choir. I've missed is so much since I graduated.
Altlough certain annoying people are going to be in it. Ugh.
........................................................
Do you know what I'm going to do tomorrow? Nothing.
:]

Dear stepfather:
Please stop being a complete asshole. It makes my mother angry, and she takes this anger out on me.
I don't like being yelled at, y'know?
.....................................................................
Dear Adam:
Thank you for being the only person who reads this. It's nice to know that someone cares.
:]
Also, why the hell do you live so far away? Damn.
.....................................................................
Dear Sydney:
I hope you are prepared for Ethan leaving.
I am going to attach myself to you.
You already know how extremely needy I am, but without Ethan I'm going to be even worse, seeing as you will be my only friend.
Also, please stop giving me shit for not having very many IRL friends.
Seriously, if I want to text twitter, I will.
Do you not realize it makes me want to cry every time you call me a loser?
Because I know I am. I don't need to hear it from you as well.

.....................................................................
Dear Carrot Mayo:
I don't like you.
Please, leave me alone.
........................................................................
Dear Economy:
Stop being so shit, please.
I need a job.
And a car.
.......................................................................
Dear little sister:
I love you.
I'm sorry that I'll be moving out (hopefully) in June or sometime this summer.
I know Dave is an ass, but you'll only have to live with him for six years without me.
I strongly suggest you move out as soon as you graduate.
.........................................................................
Dear Ethan:
If you forget about me when you move, I'll cry. A lot.
I know you'll make all sorts of friends who are way cooler than I am, but try to remember your best friend, okay?
...........................................................................
Dear Bryan:
I am getting tired of you making Sydney cry.
Seriously, stop it.
I WILL kick your ass.
You are a sorry excuse for a boyfriend, and I don't know why Sydney has kept you around for so damn long.
However; I do think you are a lovely person when I don't think of you as Sydney's boyfriend. I enjoy talking to you. Why don't we hang out anymore?
...............................................................................
Dear Really-Cute-Boy-I-See-On-Campus-All-The-Time:
You are really attractive.
What is your name?
.................................................................................
Dear father:
I love you.
Your girlfriend is just using you for money.
Why can't you see that?
She's never moving in.
I hope I'm wrong about that; you love her so much, and I don't want to see you get hurt.
..................................................................................
Dear Madelyn Mae Bailey:
I can't wait to meet you.
I'm so glad you were born all healthy and what not.
Be prepared for me to teach you all about Harry Potter.
.................................................................
Dear Garrett:
I swear, if you say anything rude to me tomorrow, I will punch you in the face.
It's our last day of driving together, can't you at least be civil?

........................................
Dear Brittany,
Make some damn friends already.
Also, stop being so depressing.
Remember when you used to be happy all the time?
Why aren't you anymore?
And you need to do better next term.
There is a very real chance that you failed several (if not all) of your classes this term.
Stop being such a loser.
Be nicer to your sister.
Write more.
Join choir.
Get over your fear of driving.



Love, Brittany.

I have a headache

Next month, Ethan is moving to California.
He's been accepted into AMDA- the American Musical and Dramatics Academy.
I am SO proud of him. Ethan is such a talented person, and I know he's going to be a huge star on Broadway some day.
But when he moves, I don't know what I am going to do.
It's no secret that I don't have very many friends.
Ethan and Sydney are really the only two people I hang out with regularly outside of school.
That's not the problem. I can deal with not having friends. Whatever. I'm used to it.
But Ethan has been around since I was thirteen. Ever since that day during history when he turned to me and asked, "Hey Brittany, want to be my best friend?"
I really don't think I can survive without him. I'll just explode when he leaves, leaving a little hole in the street. People will walk past it and say, "oh, that's where Brittany died. She couldn't live without Ethan, because she was such a loser and she had no other friends."
That is, until they fill it in.
-----------------
Ethan's actually getting out of this town- the lucky bastard.
Here I am stuck in Lebanon still.
I kind of hate it here.
A lot, actually.
I need to find a college that's out of state. Shit.

This week is the last of the term.
Finals are next week, which means I've been doing mounds of homework and studying like mad.
I am quite excited for Christmas break.
Don't get me wrong- I love school. Learning new things is lovely. I just need a month to myself. I need to be able to sleep until one, get up, write for a few hours, practice playing piano (more on that later), read, then go to sleep again before starting the whole process over again.
School work has been really getting in the way of my writing. I failed NaNoWriMo miserably- I only had around 12,000 words. I like what I've got so far, though, so I'll probably keep working on that.
So lately I've been playing the piano a lot. I haven't really touched the thing since I had lessons when I was nine, except to plunk out the notes for audition pieces and choir songs.
It's really nice. I've found a bunch of lesson books, and I've been teaching myself. The piano is very flat- we need to get it tuned.
Mother and Dave have even said I've been improving. :]
It's just really soothing to sit down and play the piano, you know? Even if I'm just learning how to play some basic chords, I love the feeling I get when I finally master it.
.............
And now I've got a final paper to write. Oh joy. Goodbye!